How to Keep Weight Off

Why is it that 99% of people who lose a large amount of weight gain it back again?

What’s so hard about sustaining weight loss long-term? The answer lies in the brain.

When you lose weight, you can do it by overpowering your brain and willing your way into a smaller size. But if you do that, you’ll gain the weight back, eventually. Or, you can re-wire your brain to support your weight loss efforts, so that over time, it gets easier, not harder, to keep your weight off.

When you understand the brain and how it works, losing weight suddenly gets easy. And, more importantly, it stays easy.

In the third and final video of the Food Freedom series, Dr. Susan Peirce Thompson explains the 5 critical ways to rewire your brain so that eating the right foods, and not eating the wrong foods, becomes completely automatic.

Here’s the link to watch now: VIDEO 3: “Re-wire Your Brain for Food Freedom!”

Food Addiction Video

Beyond Eating Audio Course

Beyond Eating Audio CourseI am very excited to announce the Beyond Eating Audio Course.

It lays out a three-pronged model for helping people with food-related issues. The course will help you with food addiction, weight-related anxiety, and the hopelessness that comes from managing one’s relationship with food.

The program focuses on:

  • Understanding hunger
  • Identifying the parts of you that arise around food and developing a healing relationship with them
  • Developing self-nurturing practices

The package consists of:

  • 2 introductory tracks
  • 8 lecture tracks
  • 11 meditation tracks
  • 4 therapy session demonstration tracks
  • 1 Word document with homework, articles, graphics and forms.

It is linked with our on-line community of other journeyers where you can find support and homework partners.

It is geared toward deepening your understanding of your relationship with food and eating, and in addition, it has the potential to affect your sense of yourself in profound ways.

My wish is that you come away with more compassion for yourself, the ability to stand more separately from your parts, a greater capacity for making healthy choices, and a deeper sense of your own preciousness.

Bonnie Weiss, LCSW ♥


C05-Beyond-Eating-Audio-Course-1Click here for more information or to purchase it.

New IFS Demonstration Sessions on Eating Issues

I am excited to add 4 new eating demonstrations on eating issues to the store this week. Click on any title to learn more about it or purchase it.

 

Working with Exiles DemonstrationWorking with Eating Exiles

This is a particularly touching piece of work. The client has maintained normal weight throughout her life, though she constantly struggles with food and eating. She finds that she has an Inner Controller stemming from for a teenager who experienced ridicule about her body, and a protector with a trunk of memories from early childhood. The two most prominent memories were of a baby who got too much milk and not enough love from a rushed mother; and a little girl who stuffed her face to escape from family dinner table arguments. As we work with these two exiles she is amazed at the clarity she is able to achieve and the depth of understanding and compassion that emerges.

 

The Hijacker Indulger DemonstrationThe Hijacker Indulger

This client has been a yo-yo dieter for years, and now in midlife finds that she cannot lose the weight as easily as in the past. We work on the polarity between a controlling part and an unconscious out-of-control indulger. The exile that we find goes back to a broken relationship in her mid-20s. Its protector never wants to be intimate and vulnerable to that depth of hurt again.

 

Getting to know a food controller demonstrationGetting to Know a Food Controller

This university professor client has explored IFS intellectually, and was eager to experience it. She begins by exploring three parts of the cluster: the Food Controller, the Indulger, and the Inner Defender. As we get to know the Food Controller in the form of a Head Mistress, it spontaneously begins to soften and change. We are able to get a glimpse of the exile that she is protecting, but the client is not ready for work with her at this time. The Head Mistress wants to maintain her role, but in a softer way. The system nicely re-organizes itself and comes to a new, more peaceful status quo. This session is an excellent introduction to the IFS process.

 

B26-Working-with-a-Foggy-Part-NEWA Foggy Part that Protects Shame

This is an interesting demo with a client who has a lot of eating disorder treatment experience. She is still struggling with a dissociative foggy part. The turning point in the work is my helping her to take a stand with a Shaming Part that arises as the exiles are telling their stores. She arrives at an important clarification about the difference between facing internal struggles and feeling incapacitated. As she feels stronger and clearer, she is able to stand up for her exiles for the first time, and her credibility in the system is solidified. We see the dramatic changes that occur when she is present with courage and vitality in her internal system.

 

Eating Behaviors: Two Parts That Fight the Food Controller

The Food Controller is an inner critic part that tries to regulate your eating behaviors and other health-related behaviors. It believes that without its efforts, you would be out of control and ruin your life.

It can be hard, cruel, and demeaning—often resulting in depression and low self-esteem. It can lead to…

  • Being obsessed with what you eat or don’t eat
  • Constant worrying about your weight and your body image
  • Feeling bad about your eating habits
  • Going on fad diets
  • Making behavioral resolutions
  • Feeling shame about lapses in meeting your eating goals.

When we have an Inner Critic part operating to make us feel bad about ourselves, it is natural to also develop parts that try to fight off its impact. Generally these parts are not coming from a grounded place of self-care and nurturing (the IFS Self). They are usually more immature–mimicking a child or adolescent’s reactions to a controlling parent. They function as protectors; trying to keep wounded inner child parts (exiles) from being reinjured.

Clients have often found it helpful for me to identify these parts so they can channel their energy in a positive, self-supportive ways to promote healing.

The RebelThe Rebel is the part that behaves in direct opposition to the Food Controller. Naming it always helps people clarify previously mysterious eating behavior. The Rebel bristles at the commands of the critic and refuses to be bullied or bossed around (overtly or covertly). Because of its knee jerk reaction to being controlled, its actions may not be in our best interest. In trying to deflect the impact of the critic, it often behaves in direct opposition to the Controller’s demands. It fights the rigid controls with an attitude of, “Oh yeah, you can’t tell me what to do.” or “Oh, you say I can’t eat that cookie, watch me eat the whole box!”

Inner-DefenderThe Inner Defender reacts to the criticism of the food controller by coming to your defense. It can’t tolerate the injustice of the criticism and tries to plead your case. It enumerates all the good things that you have done and how hard you’re trying. The Defender wants you to get credit for your efforts and be appreciated for what you are trying to do.

Sometimes your Inner Defender tries to argue with the Food Controller. If the Food Controller says that you are worthless, the Defender tries to prove that you are a good person. If the Critic says you are fat and lazy, it will give evidence of how you were able to stay on a diet yesterday. The Defender may the critic to “Leave me alone,” but it often doesn’t feel powerful.

Eating Issues Story

by: Bonnie Weiss, LCSW, and Jay Earley, PhD

This is the story of one person with eating issues.

Slim and athletic as a child, Arlene gradually put on weight in her teens and it steadily increased as she had children and then became a single mom. When she was eating, she couldn’t really tell when she was full. She kept feeling like she was actually hungry for more, but then after she ate more, she felt stuffed. In addition, she frequently binged on certain comfort foods, and she had a hard time stopping when she was eating. This is her Indulger Pattern.

Anything she tried–diets, programs, starvation, cleanses–were only stopgap measures. Anything lost was gained back and then some. She felt horrible about herself!

She always heard a nagging voice inside, her Food Controller Critic. It said, “You are so fat and lazy, and oh so terribly inadequate. No one will ever love you, and that’s because you don’t deserve to be loved.”

When she began a counseling program, her fellow students and supervisors were always pointing out to her that she tried so hard to be “the good girl.” But this was to no avail. She could never feel good enough. “I never just felt like it was alright to be me.”

Arlene was always hearing the voice of her Food Controller berating her for being fat, for failing to lose weight. Whenever she went on a binge it was especially cruel and shaming. And its judgments went beyond her eating habits. It told her that she was worthless and unlovable.

Upcoming Teleseminar

Introductory Teleseminar: Beyond Eating: Dealing with Food Addiction
Bonnie Weiss, LCSW
Monday, October 6
4:30-6:30 PM Pacific (7:30-9:30 PM Eastern)
Click here to register
FREE

This will be followed by a six-week phone course.

Visit  Self-Therapy Journey  and find out how it can help you with eating issues.

 

Eating Issues Email Sequence

Women overcoming eating issuesI have created an email sequence on understanding the psychology behind eating issues and working it through so you can change your eating. If you choose to sign up for this sequence, you will receive an email every few days describing a step in change process for eating issues, illustrated by the story of how one person went through all the steps and changed her eating.

Click here if you would like to receive these emails. (If you are getting the Psychological Change Email Sequence, you will be taken off that list, since the sequences cover much of the same material.)

 

A Story of the Indulger and Food Controller Patterns

Jay Earley, PhD, and Bonnie Weiss, LCSW

Slim and athletic as a child, Arlene gradually put on weight in her teens and it steadily increased as she had children and then became a single mom. When she was eating, she couldn’t really tell when she was full. She kept feeling like she was actually hungry for more, but then after she ate more, she felt stuffed. In addition, she frequently binged on certain comfort foods, and she had a hard time stopping when she was eating. This is her Indulger Pattern.

Anything she tried–diets, programs, starvation, cleanses–were only stopgap measures. Anything lost was gained back and then some. She felt horrible abfood controllerout herself!

She always heard a nagging voice inside, her Food Controller Critic. It said, “You are fat and lazy, and so terribly inadequate. No one will ever love you, and that’s because you don’t deserve to be loved.”

When she began a counseling program, her fellow students and supervisors were always pointing out to her that she tried so hard to be “the good girl.” But this was to no avail. She could never feel good enough. “I never just felt like it was alright to be me.”

Arlene was always hearing the voice of her Food Controller berating her for being fat, for failing to lose weight. Whenever she went on a binge it was especially cruel and shaming. And its judgments went beyond her eating habits. It told her that she was worthless and unlovable.

This didn’t help her to stop bingeing. In fact, it did the opposite. She felt a need to eat to comfort herself when she felt so bad. But this just triggered a binge, which was followed by more attacks from her Food Controller.

You can work on transforming both these patterns in Self-Therapy Journey.

Food Related Issues Monthly Support Group

Monthly Support Group on Food Related Issues By Phone

Bonnie Weiss, LCSW

Many of us have found the IFS model particularly helpful in working with eating and food related issues. People who have taken the Beyond Eating Classes or read our articles find that the idea of a cluster of parts that collaborate to maintain the status quo makes emotional sense. Naming and getting to know the usual list of characters: The Indulger, The Food Controller, The Rebel, The Foggy Part, the Inner Defender can soften the hold that they have on you. It makes possible to make contact with and nurture the younger parts, or exiles, that they have been protecting. A natural consequence of the healing IFS work is to enhance the capacities for pleasure and conscious consumption. These capacities support our ability to engage in self care.

This monthly group is for people who have had some experience with the IFS model and would like regular support in using these concepts to work with your food-related issues. There will be a short me