Fall Schedule of Seminars, Classes, & Groups

Fall Schedule of Seminars, Classes, & GroupsBelow is the Fall Schedule of Seminars, Classes, and groups.

Free Introductory Seminars and Groups, by Videoconference

Transforming Your Inner Critic using IFS: Introductory Webinar
Jay Earley, PhD
Monday, Sept. 11
4:30-6:30 pm pacific time (7:30-9:30 eastern)
Free
Click here for more information or to register

Drop-In Interactive/IFS Group
Jay Earley, PhD
Tuesday, Sept. 12
4:30-6:30 pm pacific time (7:30-9:30 eastern)
Free
Click here for more information or to register

Advanced IFS Classes: Introductory Webinar
Jay Earley, PhD
Tuesday, Sept. 19
11am – 12 noon pacific time (2-3 pm eastern)
Free
Click here for more information or to register

Videoconference Courses

Transforming Your Inner Critic using IFS
Jay Earley, PhD
Mondays, 4:30-6:30 pm pacific time (7:30-9:30 eastern)
Sept. 25, Oct. 2, 16, 23, 30, Nov. 13
Cost: $300, $250 if you enroll by Sept. 18
Click here  to enroll

Ongoing Videoconference Groups and Classes

Advanced Ongoing IFS Classes
Jay Earley, PhD
$50/session, $100/month
Email Jay at earley.jay@gmail.com for a free interview about joining a class.

Class 1: First and third Wednesdays of each month
For therapists and coaches
4:30-6:30 pm pacific time (7:30-9:30 eastern)

Class 2: Second and fourth Wednesdays of each month
For anyone
4:15-6:15 pm pacific time (7:15-9:15 eastern)

Class 3: Second and fourth Tuesdays of each month
For therapists and coaches
9:30-11:30 am pacific time (12:30-2:30 eastern, 5:30-7:30 UK)

Interactive/IFS Groups
Jay Earley, PhD
$120/month, including consultations
Email Jay at earley.jay@gmail.com for a free pre-group interview

Group 1: Regular Interactive Group
First and third Tuesdays of each month
4:30-6:30 pm pacific time (7:30-9:30 pm eastern)

Group 2: Interactive Therapist’s Group
Second and fourth Wednesdays of each month
10am- 12 noon pacific time (1-3 pm eastern, 6-8 pm UK)

 

IFS Classes and Groups

I offer a variety of classes and groups based on IFS (Internal Family Systems Therapy), which are summarized below.

The groups and classes meet by videoconference, so we all can see each other, which enhances the group connection. They meet twice a month, and members of the groups meet with me for an individual consultation on the group every 3 months. Each meeting is recorded, so if you miss one, you can watch the recording.

Advanced IFS Classes

In my Advanced IFS Classes, you learn intermediate and advanced techniques and understandings that go beyond what I teach in the Basic and Exiles Courses. I lead demonstration IFS sessions with volunteers from the class, and you practice with each other in pairs for homework. In addition, the whole group works together on important psychological issues such as procrastination, the inner critic, depression, eating issues, and more. There are separate classes for therapists/coaches, which include advanced training and consultation on IFS.

If you are new to IFS, you can take my recorded Basic IFS Class (make sure to do the homework, preferably with a partner) and then join one of these classes.

There are three different classes, each of which is $50/session, $100/month.

Class 1:
First and third Wednesdays of each month
For therapists and coaches
4:30-6:30 pm pacific time (7:30-9:30 eastern)

Class 2:
Second and fourth Wednesdays of each month
For anyone
4:15-6:15 pm pacific time (7:15-9:15 eastern)

Class 3:
Second and fourth Tuesdays of each month
For therapists and coaches
9:30-11:30 am pacific time (12:30-2:30 eastern, 5:30-7:30 UK)

Click here for detailed information, topics covered, and how to join.

Interactive/IFS Groups 

An Interactive/IFS Group can help you . . .

  • Develop your capacity for intimacy and learn how to make a love relationship work
  • Become more assertive
  • Become more outgoing and socially comfortable
  • Learn what you may be doing to keep your relationships from being satisfying
  • Understand and trust people of the opposite sex . . . or of the same sex
  • Learn how to deal with anger and conflict constructively
  • Become part of a loving community of people
  • Raise your self-esteem
  • Get in touch with your personal power

You can learn these relationship skills:

  • Being in touch with your feelings and expressing them
  • Speaking for your parts, not acting them out
  • Reaching out to others confidently
  • Saying ”No” firmly
  • Allowing yourself to be open and vulnerable
  • Expressing yourself forcefully and spontaneously
  • Being comfortable relating to a group of people
  • Asking for what you really want
  • Having the courage to bring up difficult issues
  • Empathizing with others 

What Happens

  • You work directly on how you are relating to the other group members . . . in the moment. Instead of just talking about how you relate in your life, you practice interacting with others right in the group and get help as you do.
  • You get direct and honest feedback on how people are reacting to you.
  • The group provides a safe place for you to try out new, healthy ways of relating to people.
  • You learn how to feel your emotional responses and identify the parts that are activated while interacting with people
  • You learn how communicate openly, clearly, and assertively.
  • You learn how to access and work with the parts of you that get triggered in interactions with people, using IFS.
  • You see other people struggling with problems similar to yours, and through this you learn about yourself and others.
  • There is a strong sense of support for each person and a warm feeling of community in the group.

There are two different groups, each of which is $60/meeting, $120/month, including consultations.

Group 1:
For anyone
First and third Tuesdays of each month
4:30-6:30 pm pacific time (7:30-9:30 pm eastern)

Group 2:
For therapists and coaches
Second and fourth Wednesdays of each month
10am- 12 noon pacific time (1-3 pm eastern, 6-8 pm UK)

Click here for more information.

Email me at earley.jay@gmail.com for a free pre-group interview

 

The IFS View of the Human Psyche

IFS provides a new and startling view of the human psyche. It sees human beings as complex systems of interacting “parts,” which are natural divisions of the personality. Suppose one part of you is trying to lose weight, and another part wants to wolf down a ton of sweets. When you crave that piece of cake late at night, it isn’t just a desire that comes up from time to time. There is an entity inside you that repeatedly needs a sense of sweet fullness. It has reasons why it feels it must have that dessert. It might need to push down anger or fill an unbearable sensation of emptiness. This part has memories that drive these needs—for example, feeling emotionally hungry as a child.

You may hear a different inner voice saying “Eat a piece of celery instead,” or “You should be a shamed of how you gorged yourself!” You may think of these as just thoughts that pop up, but they come from another part of you whose job is to control your eating. It could be concerned with your waistline or your health. It might believe that you won’t be loved if you aren’t thin. And it may have memories of being ridiculed for being overweight in grade school.

But these are simple concepts that only begin to touch on the richness and complexity of our inner life. Our inner family may include a lonely baby, a wise mentor, an angry child, a stern mother, a calm meditator, a magician, a happy animal, a closed-off protector, and so on.

The IFS View of the Human Psyche

These parts inside us are frequently shifting and changing. One of them takes over for a while, and we act and feel a certain way. Then we enter a new situation, and another character comes to the fore. Usually we view these changes as no more than slight shifts in mood or perspective, but, in fact, each shift marks the emergence of an entirely new subpersonality.

Each part gets activated at certain times. When I am in a large group of strangers, a part of me feels shy and wants to withdraw. When a supervisor criticizes you, a part of you may be thrown off balance and feel utterly incompetent. When Jill’s husband acts arrogant, a part of her wants to strangle him. When you get rejected by a lover, a part of you may feel devastated, like an abandoned child. When you feel threatened by a powerful person, a headache may come on because a part is clamping down on the muscles in your head to defend against terror. Any feeling reaction, thought sequence, behavior pattern, or body sensation can indicate the presence of a part.

Some of our parts are in pain, and others want to protect us from feeling that pain. Some try to manage how we interact with people. Some are locked in battles with each other. And all this is going on largely outside our awareness. All we know is that sometimes we feel content and sometimes we are anxious, depressed, frustrated, or confused, and we don’t know why.

Underlying this cast of characters, every human being has a true Self that is wise, deep, open, and loving. This is who we truly are when we aren’t being hijacked by painful or defensive voices. The Self is the key to healing and integrating our disparate parts through its compassion, curiosity, and connectedness. It is also the natural leader of our inner family, a guide through the adventures of life.

IFS can help you access your Self, and from that place of strength and love you can connect with your troubled parts and heal them. Your parts are naturally endowed with qualities such as joy, freedom, perceptiveness, and creativity, but these have been lost because of childhood wounds. The Self can help heal these wounds and allow these parts to reclaim their natural strengths and goodness. They can come to trust you to lead, if you do it from Self. They can learn to work together with each other as a harmonious inner family that supports your flowering in the world.

When you really understand this view of the psyche, you see yourself in a whole new light. You perceive your depth and beauty. You reclaim your true nature as a garden of healthy, effective, vital plants growing in the deep, rich soil of the Self.

 

The Seat of Consciousness in IFS

We each have a place in our psyche that determines our identity, choices, feelings, and perceptions. Using IFS terminology, this seat can be occupied by Self or by a part. Whoever resides in the seat of consciousness at any given moment is in charge of our psyche at that time. Whether it is a part or the Self, the occupant of the seat determines how we feel, what our intentions are, how we perceive other people, how we relate to them, and what our choices and actions will be. At any given moment, all activated parts have some influence over you, but the occupant of the seat of consciousness has the overriding influence. It determines your dominant emotion and your actions.

We aren’t necessarily aware of the occupant of our seat of consciousness at any given time. In fact, it tends to be invisible to us because it is the one who looks at other things. The occupant of the seat of consciousness is the one who is aware or conscious. We take it to be ourselves. It is the observer, or witness, and it wields the flashlight of consciousness. We are conscious of whichever part is illuminated by this flashlight, but it rarely gets pointed back toward the one who holds it. So we tend not to be aware of the witness. The witness sees but is not seen.

Ideally the Self is the occupant of the seat of consciousness.

The Self is the natural occupant of the seat of consciousness because it is who we truly are. It is our essential nature, our spiritual center. This means that the Self occupies the seat of consciousness unless a part takes over the seat and pushes the Self into the background. Then that part is in charge of your psyche for a while. This can happen in an instant and usually without our realizing it. However, as you will learn later, if you pay close attention, you can notice the shift and work with it. If the part steps aside, the Self will automatically occupy the seat of consciousness again.

At any given moment, you are identified with the occupant of the seat of consciousness. If the Self is in the seat, you are identified with Self. If a part has taken over the seat, you are identified with that part; that is who you take yourself to be in that moment. We don’t usually notice these shifts in identity; we think we are always the same unitary personality. However, they happen all the time, and IFS will help you become aware of them.

Self-Therapy

 

This is an excerpt from my book Self-Therapy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dealing with Overwhelm in IFS Work

 

Dealing with Overwhelm in IFS

Your inner world can be a garden of riches, but at any moment it can also erupt in a chaotic confusion of intense feelings. Sometimes when a loaded issue gets triggered, instead of parts appearing one at a time, which would be more workable, they all become triggered at once, vying for control and attention, and fighting with each other.

Let’s look at an example.

You hear your lover threatening to leave, and many parts come up at the same time. You feel terrified, defensive, self-judging, angry, ashamed, and abandoned, all in one intense moment. At first, you may not be able to distinguish these individual feelings; you may just experience inner confusion, conflict, or chaos. You might feel overwhelmed and flooded with emotion.

In IFS, we want to welcome all our parts, but we don’t want to be overwhelmed by them. A good way to handle this is to slow down, take a deep breath, and feel your belly and legs. This will help to ground you. Then take your time and pay attention to one emotion (and therefore one part) at a time. Even if you are feeling them all at once, focus on just one emotion or experience at a time, just enough to recognize the part and access it.

For example, you single out the defensive feeling and hear that part say it wants to defend you against your partner’s accusations. Then you access the part that is terrified of being alone. Then you hear from the self-judging part, and so on. Give each one the microphone and let it speak. You don’t have to spend much time with each part—just enough to access it and get a sense of what it feels.

Once you have accessed all the parts, you will have an overall perspective on what is happening, and it will feel less chaotic. At this point, you can choose one target part and proceed to get to know it. If the other parts keep jumping in, listen to them but then ask them to step aside. This way you can avoid being overwhelmed and stay focused on a productive track of discovery and healing.

Core Intention Professional Training with Mark Hurwich

Jay Earley, PhD about Mark Hurwich and his Core Intention training.

Mark Hurwich I highly recommend this training that Mark Hurwich is offering. Mark is an IFS coach who I have worked with, and I’m very impressed with his Core Intention process work.

“Core Intention” is our essence, our why, our raison d’être. When we’re operating from our core intention, we come from a place of power, peace, compassion, and centeredness in how we are and what we do.

The Core Intention Professional Training give you mastery-level skills to lead Anchoring to Core Intention℠ sessions with clients or others you serve. When you’re done, you’ll be able to help clients articulate what they want powerfully, as well as connect to their gifts and purpose on the planet. You’ll also have the skills to guide clients to a visceral experience of a future where desired outcomes are realized and gifts expressed, and give clients an “anchor” to bring the experience back into the present time.

Mark will also teach body-based techniques to calibrate issues and outcomes (so clients can see how they’ve shifted as a result of the work you’ve led), and how to integrate these tools into the IFS (Internal Family Systems) model and other modalities.

April 13 – June 8 (6 classes, every other week)
10-11:30 am central time
Fee: $697

Click here to learn more about this training or to enroll.

When a Part Is Vague

Vague PartWhen you are accessing a part to work with it, it may not be clear at first. It may start out as a vague image or felt sense—for example, “folded over on itself.”

You get to know a part like this by staying with your experience in a patient and curious way. Don’t push for clarity prematurely. If you are open and interested, the part will know that it is welcome, and the nature of it will become clearer in the course of a few minutes. For example, “folded over on itself” might gradually reveal itself as a part that is curled up to protect itself from attack.

You might feel a vague emotion, such as a sense of poignancy, or you might sense a narrowing in your chest or an empty place in your body. When the sensation or image isn’t entirely clear at first, it simply means that your access to the part is still in the process of forming. Some of the most interesting parts start out this way. The practice of Focusing is an excellent method for allowing parts to gradually come into view.

This process of clarification can happen slowly in stages. Take your time and the part will gradually emerge, like the development of a photographic image in a darkroom. For example, what started out as an empty place might begin to include an experience of feeling unsatisfied. Then you might sense that it is in your belly. Over time it might show itself as an empty sack needing to be filled. Finally, it might reveal itself as a child who needs nurturing because she feels empty inside.

Detecting When You Are Talking to an Exile

Do you know when you are talking to an Exile?

A frequent occurrence that can sidetrack your IFS work is when the part you are talking to changes without your realizing it. You are asking a part questions and receiving its answers, but at some point the answers start to come from a different part. It is important to detect this when it happens.

The usual way this happens is that you are working with a protector and you start hearing from the exile that is being protected. However, you don’t realize that this has happened; you think you are still talking to the protector. Since the protector and exile are closely linked, this is not surprising. However, you must learn to recognize when this occurs because we work with protectors in a different way than with exiles in IFS. You will recognize an exile because it has a painful emotion such as shame, fear, sadness, or hurt. It is important to have the protector’s permission before exploring the exile, so if an exile pops up, ask it to wait until you have finished with the protector.

Here is an example from a session. This demonstrates a protector switching to an exile without the person realizing it. Christine has identified a protector that doesn’t want to see or know certain things. She is getting to know it. Let’s take up the session at that point.

Jay: Invite that part to tell you or show you more about what it feels.

Christine: It says that it feels sleepy and dull. I can sense that it goes blank. It says, “I want to go to sleep. I don’t want to be awake or conscious.” Sometimes it can’t answer people’s questions.

J: Mm hmm. Ask the part what its name is or what it would like to be called.

C: I get the word Confuser.

J: Okay. Ask it what it is trying to accomplish by being sleepy and confused.

C: It says, “I don’t want to see something. I don’t want to know something.” This part has to just make unclarity and confusion, blandness. It wants to make sure that I don’t know what is going on.

J: It creates confusion to protect you from whatever is going on . . . What else does this part want you to know about itself?

C: (pause) Well, it’s showing me a demonstration of its panic state, which has something to do with being alone.

Here is where the switch happens. Christine is now hearing from the exile. The Confuser produces confusion and not-knowing, while the exile is terrified. So I ask about this in order to clarify what has happened.

J: I’m a little confused. I thought this was the part that didn’t want to see anything.

C: It’s two sides of the same coin. The one that doesn’t want to see, doesn’t want to see because it’s terrified.

This is true, but the part that actually feels the terror is the exile, so I focus her back on the protector, whose job is to avoid the terror.

J: I suspect that the one who is terrified is actually a different part. Ask the terrified part if it would be willing to wait a bit, and let’s focus on the Confuser, if that’s Okay. 

This switch from protector to exile often happens because the exile desperately wants to be heard. It senses that you are approaching and wants out of exile, so it rushes the gate.

When you detect that this has happened, ask the exile to wait until you have gotten to know the protector and received its permission to proceed. So the exile doesn’t feel ignored, let it know that you want to get to know it, but ask it to wait while you continue with the protector.

IFS Exiles Course – Starts February 6

The IFS Exiles Course is the second of my IFS Courses.IFS Exiles Course

You learn how to:

  • safely access young wounded parts (exiles),
  • how to stay in Self,
  • how to develop a healing relationship with your exiles, and
  • how to unburden the pain and negative beliefs of exiles so they are transformed.

This enables you to do a complete IFS session with yourself or a partner. You learn how to facilitate a partner who is working on themselves.

Prerequisite: IFS Basic Course or equivalent. Contact me if you aren’t sure whether you qualify.

Mondays 4:30-6:30 pacific time (7:30-9:30 eastern)
Feb. 6 – March 13 (6 weeks)
$280 ($250 if paid by Jan. 30)
Click here to enroll

Class Enrollment

Free Drop-In Interactive/IFS Group – February 1

Drop-in Interactive IFS GroupThis Drop-in Interactive IFS group will be a chance to experience what it is like to be in an Interactive Group, so you can decide if you would like to join one. 

In a Drop-In Interactive Group, you can be totally honest about your feelings. Everyone is encouraged to share their moment-to-moment experience with the group. It’s a big risk but very exciting!

A small group of people meets to practice awareness, honesty, and connection. Using IFS (Internal Family Systems Therapy), we practice speaking for our parts rather than as our parts. This means being in Self (a calm, caring place) and talking about how a part of you is reacting in the moment, as opposed to dumping your feelings on other people. This helps you to communicate in a more effective manner, and it also makes the group safe for everyone.

I facilitate the group, helping you to tune into what you are experiencing and speak your truth. You may tell others honestly and directly how you are feeling toward them. We create an atmosphere of caring and trust so that this can be done in a safe, connected way. You also have a chance to get honest feedback from people on how they are responding to you.

The group meets by videoconference, so we can all see each other. 

Wednesday, Feb. 1
10am-12 noon pacific time (1-3 pm eastern, 6-8 pm UK)
Click here to register for free