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A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness, and Healing Your Inner Child, Using Internal Family Systems (IFS), A Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy
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Is It Truly Possible To Resolve Psychological Issues
Through a Self-Help Book?
Have you ever been in a positive mood only to have something seemingly very small happen, perhaps someone made a casual off-handed criticism of you, but for some weird reason you felt immediately deflated, and found yourself feeling almost like a child again, small, afraid, and helpless?
Have you ever lost your temper with someone you really care about, maybe even someone you love very much, but suddenly you found yourself saying things and acting in ways that were not the way you really feel about that person, and later you regretted your actions deeply?
Have you ever really wanted to find the motivation to do something in your life, like start a new diet plan for example, but despite all your best efforts, you felt as if something was sabotaging you, and maybe you even found yourself standing in front of an open refrigerator at midnight, staring longingly at the rest of that chocolate cake?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, there is nothing to worry about, and you are certainly not alone.
In fact, from the viewpoint of “Internal Family Systems” (IFS), you are perfectly normal.
The problem in each of these situations is simply a part (or parts) that is over-reacting. In the first case, there is a part that is holding you back that you’re not aware of. In the second, there is a part that exploded in anger.
Most of us prefer to think of ourselves as one, unitary, sensible personality. But human beings are not as simple and straightforward as we may like to think.
In reality, we are complex systems of interacting parts, each with a variety of emotions and motivations.
IFS has a sophisticated way of working with your “parts,” which are natural divisions in the psyche, sometimes called subpersonalities. This approach has been rapidly spreading across the entire country for the past decade and is being applauded by patients and therapists for its incredible effectiveness.
To return to the diet example above, when you find yourself standing in front of your open refrigerator late at night, staring at that second slice of chocolate cake, this isn’t just a desire that comes up from time to time. It’s actually more accurate to see this craving for cake as a separate entity, a distinct part of your psyche that, for its own reasons, frequently craves a feeling of sweet chocolaty fullness.
Likewise, your desire to lose weight in the first place is also a distinct part of you. Perhaps it wants you to look and feel attractive and be in control.
Now, what happens when you snatch that cake out of the fridge and wolf it down? Soon after, you may hear a voice in your mind criticizing you, saying things such as, “You should be ashamed of yourself!” “You are so out control!” “You are going to get even fatter now.”
These criticisms are coming from yet another part of you.
You can think of these parts as little people inside of you. Each with their own perspectives, beliefs, feelings, memories, and motivations.
Some of your parts are in pain. Some of your parts want to protect you from pain. Some of your parts try to manage how you interact with others. Some of your parts are even locked in battles with each other that have been going on for years.
And most of the time, all of this is completely outside our awareness.
All we know is that sometimes we feel great, sometimes we feel nervous, sometimes we feel frustrated, confused, angry, and so on. And if we are honest with ourselves, we don’t really understand why.
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Your True Self, The Source of All Healing
Unfortunately many people spend their whole lives thinking that this surface dance of emotional states is all there is to life. However, underlying this cast of characters, and within every human being is the true Self that is wise, calm, open and loving.
Often buried under years of hurts, trauma, grief, shame, fear and negativity, your true Self remains perfectly whole and is the real key to your healing, and to integrating all your disparate parts.
IFS is specifically designed to help you access this Self. Once you are in touch with your Self, from this incredible place of strength and love, you can connect with your troubled parts and heal them.
It’s through the Self that you can heal your own wounds and watch as all of your parts reclaim and reveal their natural strength and goodness.
What Makes IFS So Powerful?
Internal Family Systems is more powerful than other therapeutic approaches for three main reasons:
- The Self. Healing comes from your true Self, and IFS has innovative ways of helping to access your Self and remain there during a session.
- Internal Love. IFS has discovered that all your parts are doing their best to help and protect you. This means that you don’t have to fight them or try to get rid of them. You can connect with them from the compassion of Self and develop cooperative, trusting relationships with them. This makes transformation much easier.
- A Step-by-Step Procedure. IFS understands the complex structure of the psyche and has developed a sophisticated procedure for healing each of your parts. There is no guesswork. You don’t wallow around for years in your childhood. IFS has laser-like precision and efficiency.
Self-Therapy: A Complete Guide To Psychological Healing
Therapy does not have to be difficult, time-consuming or expensive.
Relief from chronic, painful, life-long emotional issues, such as depression and anxiety, is possible and can be entirely in your control.
You simply need an effective framework for understanding and communicating with the various parts of yourself, along with a step-by-step process for transforming these parts into healthy resources.
This is the promise of Self-Therapy, a clear guide by Dr. Jay Earley that explains exactly how to you can heal deep wounds, resolve stuck places, and restore wholeness, strength, self-confidence, and joy to your life.
What Makes Self-Therapy So Effective?
1. It is based on Internal Family Systems, a full-fledged form of therapy.
IFS is actually much much more than another therapeutic technique.
In actuality it is both a revolutionary way of understanding the human psyche and a complete practice for learning to love yourself and others.
Most self-help books offer insights and advice from the author or from a method of therapy. Or they teach you some growth techniques.
This is fantastic, and self-help books can be useful and inspirational.
But the advantage of Self-Therapy is that it teaches you to engage in IFS sessions on your own or with a partner. You learn a complete method of therapy, designed from years of clinical work with a wide variety of individuals and a wide range of psychological challenges.
2. IFS is a user-friendly form of therapy.
The IFS model taught in Self-Therapy is not only effective but also extraordinarily user friendly.
It is natural to visualize your parts, give them names, and talk to them. It brings your psyche alive in a way that is easy to grasp.
3. IFS is based on the Self, so it can be used without a therapist.
In IFS it is not the therapist or any outside force that “fixes” you.
In IFS the source of healing is You; the source of healing is your true Self.
Your true Self is who you really are in the deepest sense.
Your true Self is compassionate, openly curious, connected, and calm.
Even when working with a therapist or another IFS practitioner, it is always your true Self that is the agent of healing in the IFS approach.
As you introduce your suffering parts to the Self, they each develop a trusting and healing relationship with the Self.
Through this, an unstoppable momentum of transformation unfolds.
4. Self-Therapy brings IFS to life.
It contains transcripts of actual sessions and illustrations that bring parts vividly to life. It also has help sheets that outline the IFS process which you can use during sessions to know what to do next. And there are exercises that can be be applied directly from the book in your life.
Can Self-Therapy Help Me With My Issue?
Internal Family Systems can help with both mental health symptoms and a wide variety of complex life issues, such as:
- Relationship Problems
- Passive-Aggressive Behavior
- Communication Issues
- People Pleasing
- Eating Issues
- Inner Critic
- Fear and anxiety
- Feelings of inner conflict
- Insecurity on the job
A Must Read For Therapist And Client Alike
With Self-Therapy, Dr. Jay Earley makes the power of IFS accessible to everyone by teaching it as a complete method for psychological healing that anyone can use on their own.
And Self-Therapy is also the book of choice for therapists wanting to learn Internal Family Systems Therapy.
Therapists and existing IFS practitioners will appreciate this clear map of the IFS model, which includes transcripts from actual therapy sessions, illustrations that explain complex and subtle dynamics in the psyche, and detailed tips on how to proceed in various circumstances that may come up during a session.
Self-Therapy constitutes a complete manual for the IFS procedure.
Self-Therapy is simply an absolute must read for every therapist seeking to move their clients beyond tolerable recovery to a deeper, more complete process of healing.
What Are People Saying About Self-Therapy?
More Praise for Self-Therapy