IFS Exiles Course Starts March 30 2020

In the IFS Exiles course, you learn how to

  • safely access young wounded parts (exiles),
    how to stay in Self,
  • how to develop a healing relationship with your exiles, and
  • how to unburden the pain and negative beliefs of exiles so they are transformed.

 

This enables you to do a complete IFS session with yourself or a partner. You learn how to facilitate a partner who is working on themselves.

The prerequisite for this course is the IFS Basic Course or equivalent.

If you aren’t sure if you qualify, contact me.

Mondays
March 30 – May 4 (6 meetings)
4:30-6:30 pm pacific time (7:30-9:30 pm eastern)
Cost: $300, $250 if enrolled by March 24
Click here to enroll.

February 26: Drop-In Interactive/IFS Group

Drop In IFS Interactive Group

Free Drop-In Interactive/IFS Group

This drop-in group is designed to give you an idea of how Interactive/IFS Groups operate, and also to provide a group experience that can be powerful learning in itself.

In a Drop-In Interactive Group, you can be totally honest about your feelings. Everyone is encouraged to share their moment-to-moment experience with the group. It’s a big risk but very exciting!

A small group of people meets to practice awareness, honesty, and connection. Using IFS (Internal Family Systems Therapy), we practice speaking for our parts rather than as our parts. This means being in Self (a calm, caring place) and talking about how a part of you is reacting in the moment, as opposed to dumping your feelings on other people. This helps you to communicate in a more effective manner, and it also makes the group safe for everyone.

I facilitate the group, helping you to tune into what you are experiencing and speak your truth. You may tell others honestly and directly how you are feeling toward them. We create an atmosphere of caring and trust so that this can be done in a safe, connected way. You also have a chance to get honest feedback from people on how they are responding to you.

The group meets by videoconference, so we can all see each other. It will not be recorded.

Wednesday, Feb. 26
10 am – 12 noon pacific time
(1-3 pm eastern, 6-8 pm UK)
Click here to enroll
Free

 

 

 

The Origins of the IFS Self

What are The Origins of the IFS Self?

Even though IFS focuses on our parts, human beings are not simply a collection of parts. We are so much more than that. Our true Self is mature and loving and has the capacity to heal and integrate our parts.

In the early days of the development of IFS, Richard Schwartz was learning the model through feedback from his therapy clients. He had learned about parts, and when he worked with a client, he would often ask a protector to step aside so they could go deeper with a piece of work. Then another protector would emerge, and he would help the client to get that one to relax, too.

This would continue until eventually a different kind of presence would emerge. Dick would ask his clients what part that was, and they would say, “Well, it’s not a part exactly. It has a different quality to it. It doesn’t feel like all my other parts.” Then he would say, “Well, if it’s not a part, what is it?” And they would answer, “Well, I don’t know, it’s just me. It’s who I really am.” When the clients expanded on what they meant, they would usually say something like, “When my parts have all stepped aside, what is left is me.” And once this “me” was accessed, the therapy would flow effortlessly because now the person’s energy was freed up. It felt like a surfer who was in “the zone,” catching a wave and riding it smoothly and easily.

And so Dick learned about the Self.  This was wonderfully transformative, and a deeper level of the power of IFS was unleashed.

IFS Basic Course Starts February 17

This course will teach you how to use Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) to resolve psychological issues and heal underlying pain from the past, to enhance your self-confidence and well-being. IFS is a powerful, user friendly method of psychotherapy and personal growth work. IFS is a recognized, proven method for individual psychotherapy with a robust training program and thousands of certified therapists. It will help transform stuck parts of yourself into inner resources of strength, love, and freedom.

This course teaches you how to access Self (that core aspect of you that can heal your parts) and work with protectors (parts that defend us from pain and danger). It is the most basic course on IFS. It teaches you how to work on yourself using IFS and how to do peer IFS counseling with other people in the class. Therapists and coaches also take the class to learn about IFS, though it is not professional training in IFS.

The course is experiential; it includes practicing IFS sessions for homework in pairs, group exercises, and demonstration IFS sessions with volunteers from the class.

The text for the course is my book, Self-Therapy.

The course will be taught by videoconference, so we can see each other, which enhances the group connection, making it safe for you to be open and vulnerable in class. Each class is recorded, so you can watch the recording of any class you miss.

Mondays
Feb. 17 – March 23 (6 meetings)
4:30-6:30 pm pacific time (7:30-9:30 pm eastern)
Cost: $300, $250 if enrolled by Feb. 11
Click here to enroll

IFS Basic Course: Starts February 17

Introduction to IFS

This course will teach you how to use Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) to resolve psychological issues and heal underlying pain from the past, to enhance your self-confidence and well-being.

IFS is a powerful, user friendly method of psychotherapy and personal growth work. IFS is a recognized, proven method for individual psychotherapy with a robust training program and thousands of certified therapists. It will help transform stuck parts of yourself into inner resources of strength, love, and freedom.

This course teaches you how to access Self (that core aspect of you that can heal your parts) and work with protectors (parts that defend us from pain and danger). It is the most basic course on IFS. It teaches you how to work on yourself using IFS and how to do peer IFS counseling with other people in the class. Therapists and coaches also take the class to learn about IFS, though it is not professional training in IFS.

The course is experiential; it includes practicing IFS sessions for homework in pairs, group exercises, and demonstration IFS sessions with volunteers from the class.

The text for the course is my book, Self-Therapy.

The course will be taught by videoconference, so we can see each other, which enhances the group connection, making it safe for you to be open and vulnerable in class. Each class is recorded, so you can watch the recording of any class you miss.

Mondays
Feb. 17 – March 23 (6 meetings)
4:30-6:30 pm pacific time (7:30-9:30 pm eastern)
Cost: $300, $250 if enrolled by Feb. 11
Click here to enroll

 

Webinar: Introduction to IFS

Fall 2018 Introduction to IFS

This free introductory webinar, Monday February 10, 2020, will introduce IFS and give you a taste of working on yourself with this approach.

IFS understands that the psyche is made up of sub-personalities, called parts, which make up a kind of inner system.  Parts often get into conflicts with each other and act in dysfunctional ways in an attempt to protect us from pain. All of this happens largely outside our awareness, and when we do see what is happening, we frequently try to banish the parts that are causing the difficulties. Yet this rarely works.

IFS, on the other hand, teaches us to relate to our parts with openness, curiosity, and compassion, not judgment, which allows each part to reveal its hidden agenda and the pain it defends against.  This paves the way for healing and transformation, which can be accomplished by following the detailed IFS procedure.

The psyche is largely organized to protect itself from pain, which is why IFS makes a distinction between parts that are in pain and parts that protect us from it. Protectors are parts that handle the external world and protect against vulnerability and pain. Exiles are young child parts that are in pain from the past. Protectors try to arrange our lives so that people can’t hurt our exiles, and when this does happen, protectors shut us down emotionally to keep us from feeling the pain. This noble effort doesn’t really work; the suffering still leaks through at odd moments.  Furthermore, the defenses instituted by protectors make us relate to the world in problematic ways, or they blunt our aliveness or rob us of important capacities. IFS is able to transform these parts by relying on the healing power of our true Self or spiritual center, which is connected, curious, compassionate, and calm.

This free introductory webinar will introduce IFS and give you a taste of working on yourself with this approach. You can ask me questions about the model and about the upcoming Basic IFS Class.

The seminar will be recorded, so once you are enrolled, you will receive an email afterwards with a link to the recording.

Monday, Feb. 10
4:30-6:30 pacific time (7:30-9:30 pm eastern)
Free
Click here to enroll.

Polarization in IFS

When two parts are polarized, it means they are opposed to each other.Polarization in IFS

They are attempting to act in opposite ways, such as staying versus going or working versus relaxing. They form a polarity. However, polarization is more than just a polarity; polarized parts are also fighting against each other’s goals. For example, a part that wants to eat a lot would be actively fighting against the dieting that comes from another part. Furthermore, each polarized part is convinced that it must take an extreme stand in order to counter the destructive actions of the other part.

Even though polarized parts may be extreme, they often hold an energy or quality that is important for you. For example, one common kind of polarization is between a part that wants to connect with people and a part that wants to be assertive, both of which are valuable qualities. Another widespread polarization is between the energies of safety/order and autonomy/freedom.

You don’t want to erase or diminish the positive energy of either polarized part. You want to have access to each one’s energy in a non-extreme form.

In resolving polarization, you aren’t looking to just find a bland compromise between the parts or a negotiated settlement that is purely intellectual. The goal is to have your parts appreciate each other’s strengths and good intentions, work through their extreme protective roles, and learn to cooperate with each other. This gives you much greater access to your creativity and power and also makes it possible for you to come up with an innovative solution to the inner conflict that is satisfying to both parts. When the Self can hold space for two polarized parts to work together, a dynamic, transformative process results.

For more information, see Self-Therapy, Vol. 2, chapters 4 and 5, or Resolving Inner Conflict.

Self-Therapy-Vol-2

Updating an IFS Protector

Our protectors are stuck in the past; they believe that we are little children who are vulnerable and updating protectorshave few internal or external re­sources for handling problematic situations. This is how we all were as children. You can ask a protector, “How old do you think I am?” Very often, the protector will mention a childhood age—two or eight, for example. Notice that this is a different ques­tion from the one you might ask an exile. You ask the exile, “How old are you?”

Update The Protector to Your Current Capacities

Once you have found out how old the protector thinks you are, tell the protector how old you actually are. Then show the protector a series of scenes from your life that include growing up, maturing, accomplishing things, handling difficulties, and reaching your current age. This updates the protector as to your current capacities.

When you were young, you were vulnerable and under your parents’ power. However, now you are autonomous and in charge of your own life. In childhood, you didn’t have a mature Self present to help, so your protectors often had to handle painful situations on their own. Now that you are an adult, you have a competent, perceptive Self to help in difficult circumstances.

In addition, you probably have many strengths and capacities as an adult that you didn’t have as a child. For example, you are prob­ably more grounded and cen­tered. You may be more assertive, more perceptive about interper­sonal situations, better able to support yourself financially, and so on. You have probably accomplished things in your life and overcome obstacles. You are an adult with much greater ability to handle yourself. As part of the updating process, you can also show the protector your current life arrangements and the various people who will support you when needed. You probably have friends, family, maybe a spouse or lover, perhaps a community you belong to, or a support group you can rely on.

This is an excerpt from my book Self-Therapy, Vol. 2. It is one of the many topics we cover in the Advanced IFS Classes.

Self-Therapy-Vol-2

 

 

 

Basic IFS Course Starts October 15

Basic IFS CourseThere is a new start date for the Basic IFS Course: Oct. 15

The Basic IFS Course was originally scheduled to start on September 17. I have put off the start of this course for a few weeks to allow more people to enroll. It will now start on October 8.

This course will teach you how to use Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) to resolve psychological issues and heal underlying pain from the past, to enhance your self-confidence and well-being. IFS is a powerful, user friendly method of psychotherapy and personal growth work. IFS is a recognized, proven method for individual psychotherapy with a robust training program and thousands of certified therapists. It will help transform stuck parts of yourself into inner resources of strength, love, and freedom.

This course teaches you how to access Self (that core aspect of you that can heal your parts) and work with protectors (parts that defend us from pain and danger). It is the most basic course on IFS. It teaches you how to work on yourself using IFS and how to do peer IFS counseling with other people in the class. Therapists and coaches also take the class to learn about IFS, though it is not professional training in IFS.

The course is experiential; it includes practicing IFS sessions for homework in pairs, group exercises, and demonstration IFS sessions with volunteers from the class.

The text for the course is my book, Self-Therapy.

The course will be taught by videoconference, so we can see each other, which enhances the group connection, making it safe for you to be open and vulnerable in class. Each class is recorded, so you can watch the recording of any class you miss.

Tuesdays
4:30-6:30 pm pacific time (7:30-9:30 pm eastern)
Oct. 15 – Nov. 19, 2019 (6 classes)
$300 ($250 if paid by Oct. 9)
Click here to enroll.

Finding Your Life Purpose as a Contribution to the Great Turning

Great Turning Webinar Series

Finding Your Life Purpose as a Contribution to the Great Turning
Monday, September 23

Things are really bad in all sorts of ways right now, but this isn’t by chance. We are at the end of the Modern/Industrial Era because it no longer works. We are moving toward a whole-system transformation of society, which has been called the Great Turning.

The best way to find your contribution to the Great Turning is by exploring your life purpose. You have a mission, a calling, and unique gifts to give to the world, based on your particular talents and personal qualities, your lifetime learnings, and your heartfelt concerns and passions. When you discover your passion and your purpose in life, you will have found the key to a meaningful, happy life and to making your greatest contribution to healing our planet.

If you are concerned about the planetary crisis, your life purpose will naturally be related to the Great Turning. It may not look like something “political,” but it will be the most valuable help you can provide. After all, you will be using all of you. What could be more potent than that? And by making your contribution as part of the larger social movement for the Great Turning, you can redouble its impact.

In this webinar, you can begin to explore your life purpose.

Monday, Sept. 23
12:30 – 1:30 pm
(3:30-4:30 pm eastern, 8:30-9:30 pm UK)
Free
Click here to enroll

 

Webinar: Feeling Your Love for the World

Feeling Your Love for the WorldWhat do you love that impels you to contribute to changing the world? Is it your children and grandchildren? Is it Gaia, the living earth? Is it humanity? Is it your people? Is it a local mountain, river, or forest? Is it the divine or the flow of evolution? Can you feel this love deep in your heart?

In this experiential webinar, you will discover and work through psychological blocks to accessing this love and then go deep in your soul to feel it fully. You can explore how this love inspires you to take action for social transformation.

Monday, Sept. 16
12:30 – 1:30 pm (3:30-4:30 pm eastern, 8:30-9:30 pm UK)
Free
Click here to enroll

This is the first of a free webinar series at this time on social transformation. Each webinar can be attended separately, but some of the webinars will build on each other over time.