Self-Therapy Journey Demonstration Webinar

Self-TherapyJourneyLogoSelf-Therapy Journey (STJ) is an online tool for psychological exploration and healing. You get the life-changing power of psychotherapy for a tiny fraction of the cost.

This free webinar will help you learn about STJ to decide if they want to use it. I will provide an overview of STJ and a demonstration of how to use it on the web, which will include almost every page. I will also answer questions about STJ.

You can think of STJ as a very sophisticated and interactive set of self-help books, plus guided meditations and customized reports. It is based on the Pattern System and Internal Family Systems Therapy. Check it out at

Tuesday, Aug. 25
4:30-6:30 PM pacific time (7:30-9:30 PM eastern time)
Click here to enroll for free.

Feel free to register even if you can’t make that time. A replay of the webinar will be sent to you afterwards.

What can you do with Self-Therapy Journey?

  • Understand yourself psychologically
  • Resolve problems like procrastination, shyness, or anger
  • Gain self-confidence, strength, openness
  • Transform behavior patterns, such as dependency or people-pleasing
  • Achieve intimacy, success, contentment

 How does Self-Therapy Journey work?

  • You take charge of your growth, in private, at your convenience
  • There are guided meditations for healing your emotional wounds
  • You get a customized report for each pattern, wound, and capacity
  • You engage in homework practices to change your behavior
  • You systematically work on your issues and track your progress

What Users are Saying

Self-Therapy Journey is brilliant. It’s been an absolutely great experience to use it. Every time I had a thought like, “What about this?” there was something in the online system to handle it. — Athena Murphy

I think Self-Therapy Journey is immensely helpful. You can go as deep as you’re willing or want to go. — Elizabeth Moulton, Clinical Psychologist

The problems that I worked on using Self-Therapy Journey have been resolved. — Cathy Duke, Licensed Counselor

Click here to enroll for the webinar.



Interpersonal Quizzes

I have created two quizzes to help you understand your interpersonal issues.

The Interpersonal Patterns Quiz will help you understand your problematic ways of interacting with others.

Click here to take it.

Do you wonder…

  • Why do my partner and I get into so many fights?
  • Why don’t I have more close friends?
  • Why do I get in trouble at work?
  • How can I be more effective in working with people?
  • What can I do to improve my relationships?

Take the Quiz

The Interpersonal Capacities Quiz will help you understand which healthy interpersonal capacities it would be helpful for you to develop (or develop further).

Click here to take it.

Do you wonder…

  • Do I need to be more assertive, cooperative, self-supporting?
  • What capacities will help my relationships to be successful?
  • What capacities do I need to have more harmonious interactions with people?
  • What capacities will help me in social settings?

Take the Quiz




Emotional Wounds Quiz

Childhood emotional woundsWhich emotional wounds do you have?

Learn how to understand and heal your underlying pain from childhood.

Do you wonder…

  • What happened to me in childhood that underlies my problems?
  • Which emotional wounds are most important for me to heal?
  • What childhood pain has been most problematic for me?

Do you have underlying wounds such as shame, abandonment, guilt, feeling unlovable, feeling worthless?

Were you judged, attacked, betrayed, or violated as a child?

Take this quiz to learn which wounds would be most useful for you to heal.

Take the Wounds Quiz for free.

Take the Quiz



It also shows you how to enroll for those wounds in Self-Therapy Journey.

Webinar on the Victim Pattern July 14

VictimPattern-200px.jpgThe Victim Pattern Webinar was scheduled for a few months ago but I ran into a technical problem that kept it from happening. That has now been fixed so it is now rescheduled. I have been very busy getting the new version of Self-Therapy Journey up and running, so I didn’t have time to reschedule this webinar until now.

If you have the Victim Pattern, you believe that your life situation is impossible or that someone has wronged you. In other words, you believe that your problems exist because bad things were done to you. Granted, difficult things may have happened in your life, as they do in all our lives. The difference is that you feel like the victim of these circumstances, and you believe that there is nothing you can do about it.

With this Pattern, you may find yourself continually thinking about how others have wronged or hurt you. You make excuses to yourself for why you cannot get your life together, feeling cheated and helpless to do anything about it. You may feel angry or depressed about your circumstances and helpless to change your life for the better. In the back of your mind, you may even feel entitled to special time and attention from others, especially those whom you feel have wronged you.

This webinar will help you to determine if you have a Victim Pattern–or if your partner (or someone else close to you) does. You will learn how the pattern operates, what its underlying dynamics are, and how to change it, using IFS and Self-Therapy Journey. You will also learn how to relate to someone with the Victim Pattern and how to encourage them to change their pattern.

You will learn how to develop the Responsibility Capacity instead of the Victim Pattern. Responsibility involves recognizing that you have choices available to you at all times and that the direction of your life is up to you. The Responsibility Capacity helps you to see that there are many small and large things you can do every day that influence the flow of your life. You can see that it’s ultimately your job to figure out your life and to do your best to identify and attain your goals. This leads you to a sense of personal power and the ability to make your life work.

Tuesday, July 14
4:30-6 PM pacific time (7:30-9 PM eastern)

Click and Register for the Self-Therapy Journey Webinar



Please register even if you can’t make that time. A replay of the webinar will be sent to you afterwards.

Major Changes to Self-Therapy Journey

Self-Therapy-JourneyI am excited to announce that after 8 months of work, I have completed major changes to Self-Therapy Journey, my interactive online tool for personal growth and psychological healing.

Before I explain the changes, let me discuss some basic concepts in Self-Therapy Journey (STJ).  Patterns are problematic ways of functioning or relating that you might want to change, such as Procrastination, Depression, or People-Pleasing. Capacities are healthy ways of functioning or relating that you might want to develop, such as Work Confidence, Aliveness, or Assertiveness. Wounds are painful feelings or negative beliefs that you took on as a result of harmful incidents or relationships from childhood, such as Shame, Abandonment, or believing that you are Unlovable.

Now let’s look at the changes to Self-Therapy Journey.

WoundsStarting with a Capacity or Wound

Self-Therapy Journey was originally set up so that you had to start with a pattern, and then you could work on healing wounds and developing a capacity as part of working on that pattern. Now you can also start with a wound or a capacity. In addition, you can work on a wound or capacity by itself, which means that you don’t have to do it as part of working on a pattern. For example, if you want to work on your Shame Wound, you can do that as part of working on a pattern that has shame underlying it, such as the Self-Effacing Pattern, or you can work on your Shame Wound on its own. For another example, if you want to work on developing Assertiveness, you can do that as part of working of a pattern that blocks Assertiveness, such as People-Pleasing or Passive-Aggressive, or you can work on developing Assertiveness on its own.

Paying for a Single Pattern, Capacity, or Wound

In the old Self-Therapy Journey, the only payment option was with a $25/month recurring subscription. That option is still there, but now you can also choose to enroll for a single pattern, capacity, wound for just $4.97 or $9.97 (see below for explanation of prices). This makes it easier to get started. If you discover that you want to enroll for many different patterns, capacities, or wounds, then you can choose the monthly subscription at any time.

Simplified Versions and Levels of Enrollment

I have added simplified versions of the patterns and capacities for just $4.97. I call this the Shift Level of enrollment. This is for people who want quick results for less money. You can upgrade at any time to the more complete version of the pattern or capacity, which is $9.97 and is called the Change Level of enrollment. If you enroll for the monthly subscription that includes the wounds, this is called the Transformation Level of enrollment, which is $35/month. The $25 monthly subscription that doesn’t include the wounds is at the Change Level.

New Quizzes

The old version of Self-Therapy Journey included two quizzes to help you determine which pattern to work on. STJ now also has a wounds quiz to help you see which wounds you have and two capacities quizzes to help you figure out which capacities you need to develop (or develop further).

I invite you to check out Self-Therapy Journey at

The Inner Process Dimension of the Pattern System

I have recently been adding more dimensions, patterns, and capacities to the Pattern System. In fact, I have created a new Dimension Group, the Intrapersonal Dimension Group. This covers patterns and capacities that primarily come up during inner work. They don’t show up so much in our external behavior. Here is a graphic for this new group:

Intrapersonal Dimension Dimension Group

The Inner Process Dimension

In this article, I will focus on just one of these dimensions, the Inner Process Dimension, which you can see on the bottom row of this chart. This dimension relates to your process in doing inner work, especially IFS work. The two healthy capacities in this dimension are Mindfulness and Focus. With the Mindfulness Capacity, you are open to whatever emotions, sensations, thoughts, or parts are emerging in your consciousness. You are aware of them and how they feel, and you welcome them all. Mindfulness is a Freedom Capacity (see the headings at the top of the columns) because it supports your being free to notice whatever arises in consciousness.

With the Focus Capacity, you are able to maintain your concentration on whatever part you have chosen to work on even though you are open to new parts that arise. You still notice these other parts arise, but you don’t get sidetracked by them, unless you make a conscious decision to switch your attention to a different part. Focus in an Order Capacity because it helps to keep your process in order.

A dysfunctional version of Mindfulness is the Scattered Pattern, where you allow many different parts to arise and you end up chasing one and then another and you don’t get much You are always trying to work with a new part and you never get very far in your process with the target part that you have chosen to work with. The Puppet Master Pattern is a variant on the Scattered Pattern, where there in one part, the Puppet Master, who is orchestrating the arising of many different parts in order to keep you scattered so you don’t get anywhere. These are Loose Patterns because they involve too much looseness in your process.

The other extreme is the Rigid Pattern, which is a Tight Pattern, where you keep your focus on the target part that you have chosen, but at expense of not allowing yourself to even notice other parts that may arise. So you may keep on track, but you lose the richness of what is actually happening, and you miss some important parts that may be undermining your process without your knowledge.

The Pattern System is a breakthrough in understanding personality, a Periodic Table for psychology, created by Jay Earley, PhD. It is a systematic approach to understanding your personality oriented toward psychological healing and personal growth.



Volunteers Needed to Test Self-Therapy Journey


I have been working hard over the last 6 months improving Self-Therapy Journey, my online tool for psychological healing and personal growth.

I have gotten a lot of great feedback from people who have tested it for me, and now I need some more help.

I need volunteers who are not already familiar with Self-Therapy Journey. It will take about an hour with you on your computer and on the phone or Skype with me. 

If you are interested in volunteering, please email me at and

  1. Your phone number of Skype name
  2. Your time zone
  3. Put “STJ Tester” in the subject line

I probably won’t need help from everyone who volunteers, at least right away, so wait for my response.

New! Eating Issues Quiz

What type of Eating Issues do you have?

Explore your patterns of behavior around food.

I am happy to announce a new quiz that is available for you to take for free.

  • Do you overeat unconsciously?
  • Do you obsess about food or your body?
  • Do you overeat in order to rebel?
  • Do you binge and purge?
  • Do you lose weight only to gain it back?
  • Do you exercise compulsively?

Take the Eating Issues Quiz

Take this quiz  to learn about your attitudes and behaviors related to food and what to do about them.








Testers Needed for New Quizzes

I have created three new quizzes, and I need people to test them for me.Quiz

Two of the quizzes are on healthy capacities.

Taking the quizzes will help you understand which healthy capacities (in the Pattern System) you might want to work on developing or developing more.

Healthy capacities are things like Assertiveness, Self-Esteem, or Cooperation.

The third quiz is on emotional wounds. It will help you determine which emotional wounds from childhood you have. Examples of wounds are Abandonment, Shame, or Betrayal. 

I need feedback on the wording of the questions and also on whether or not the scores you get seem to reflect what you know about yourself.

If you are interested in helping me test one or more of the quizzes, send me an email at and let me know. Please include your phone number or Skype name and your time zone.

A Story of Resolving the Victim Pattern

The victim pattern and the responsibility capacityIn a previous blog,  I told the story of Sandra, who had received some “tough love” from her friend Jill, who pointed out that she seemed to have a Victim Pattern. This is a continuation of that story showing how she overcame it.

Sandra did not like what she had heard, and at first, she felt blamed and angry. But as she calmed down and kept thinking about it, she realized that she knew Jill to be a fair person who would not lie to her or criticize her without a very good reason.

Sandra started exploring the Victim Pattern and saw that the capacity she could develop was Responsibility. She decided to ask her adult daughter Sheila for some perspective.

SANDRA: “When I told Sheila about the idea that I might be stuck in a Victim Pattern, she confessed to me that she had often felt frustrated with me when she was growing up because she thought I gave up on trying things too quickly. She also told me that she felt upset that I was still blaming her father for our divorce.”

SHEILA: “My mom would just look at something, like our new dishwasher for instance, and gripe that she didn’t know how she was supposed to figure out how to use it. Even as a kid, I had a hard time with that because it just didn’t seem like that daunting of a task. I also learned that if I wanted help trying something new, I shouldn’t ask my mom. She would just make me feel more helpless, or she would get angry and find some way to make it my or my dad’s fault.”

Hearing this, Sandra decided that she wanted her daughter to be able to be proud of her. She decided to work on developing her Responsibility Capacity, and stuck with it for several months.

SANDRA: “I felt uncomfortable sometimes, trying new things and not asking people to help me right away. My sense of anger came up a lot. I really have had a big habit of getting mad that people aren’t helping me. I noticed, as I practiced, that I wanted to revert to my old methods. I discovered, under my anger, that a part of me feels safer when I can get someone to do things for me. But the first time I figured out how to update my bookkeeping on my own, I felt pretty excited. It’s a cool feeling to think about being able to make my own way in the world without having to rely on manipulating someone else into taking care of things.”

Even Sheila noticed a change in her mother after these months of practice.

SHEILA: “When my mom started talking about wanting to get a resume put together, I felt my stomach clench. Normally she would manipulate me into doing it for her. But this time, she came to me and asked if I could direct her to some online resume resources. She asked me questions about how I had done mine and what had worked for me in getting interviews. I could tell she really wanted to learn!”

Sandra kept up her practice and discovered that she had more curiosity than she had realized.

Developing the Responsibility Capacity helped her feel more interested in life, and she is currently apprenticing with a florist who appreciates her investment in learning. Sandra hopes that she will find a job this way, but she also feels good knowing that no matter what, she can take ownership of her future well being.