Interactive Group: Speaking for Your Parts

Interactive Group - Speaking for Your PartsOne of the big challenges for many people in an Interactive Group, and in life, is the expression of “negative” feelings.

It is valuable in an Interactive Group to express all of your feelings, not just good feelings. It is important to say when something bothers you or to express annoyance, disagreement, hurt, or discomfort.

You might find it hard to believe that expressing negative feelings of any kind will be helpful to anyone. You might think:

“It will just hurt him unnecessarily, and it’s not a big deal anyway.”
“It’s probably just my own material. I should just work it out myself.”
“It’s not something she can change. Why make her feel bad?”

This is because you are afraid of hurting the other person and feeling guilty about it, or because you are afraid of the person becoming angry or rejecting toward you.

In the Interactive Groups, we work on expressing a feeling by speaking for the part rather than as the part.

When you speak as a part, it means that the part has blended with you. You have become the part, so if you were angry at someone, you might just blast them, “I hate you. You are so mean to me.”

On the other hand, when you speak for a part, it means that you are in Self and you are describing the feelings of the part, “There is a part of me that is angry at you because it believes that you have been mean to me.”

By speaking for our parts, we are owning our reactions to other people. We aren’t attacking others, we are letting them know how our parts are reacting to them.

This is good practice for communicating in life, and it also makes an Interactive Group safer. It is OK for you to express negative feelings toward others as long as you speak for your parts.