Passive-Aggressive Pattern Meditation

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If you have the Passive Aggressive Pattern, you tend to act in a way that looks like you are agreeable and pleasing, on the surface, but in the end your behavior either hurts people or frustrates them.

About 25 minutes
Written by Jay Earley, performed by Alexis Zielke

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About 25 minutes
Written by Jay Earley, performed by Alexis Zielke

If you have the Passive-Aggressive Pattern, you tend to act in a way that looks as though you are agreeable and pleasing on the surface while acting out your resentment or aggression in indirect ways, which either hurts people or frustrates them. You may only be aware of your surface desire to please people. You may even realize that you’re afraid of not pleasing someone, especially your partner.

The clue to help you realize if you have this pattern is when people you are close to regularly get frustrated with you or feel hurt by you. You may feel wronged when this happens. You may even say to yourself, “I’m doing my best to be nice and agreeable, but my partner doesn’t seem to get this. She keeps getting on my case for doing things that upset her. But I don’t have any idea what she is talking about.”

If you have a Passive-Aggressive Pattern, there is an unconscious part of you that is resentful and perhaps defiant. This part is irritated at how much you kowtow to what your partner wants. Or the part may be angry at her for things she said that resulted in your feeling undervalued or unappreciated. However, you don’t feel that you have any right to be angry or defiant, so it all goes underground in your consciousness. You act in seemingly agreeable ways, but you add a little mean twist to your behavior that frustrates your partner.

This guided meditation takes you through an IFS session in which you access this part, get into Self, get to know the part, find out its positive intent for you, and develop a trusting relationship with it.


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