The Positive Intent of Your Inner Critic

One of the most surprising discoveries about our Inner Critics is that they are actually trying to help us.Inner Critic Webinar

This is an amazing, powerful secret. An Inner Critic is a protector in Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS). It is judging you in order to try to win your approval from others or protect you from pain.

As strange as it may seem, we have found this to be true over and over with hundreds of clients, and so have other IFS therapists.

Your Inner Critic has learned a strategy for helping you.

It thinks that pushing and judging you will protect you from hurt and pain. It thinks that if it can get you to be a certain way—perfect, successful, cautious, nice, slim, outgoing, intellectual, macho, and so on—then you won’t be shamed or rejected and you might even get approval from people who are important to you. It tries to get you to fit in by prescribing rules and then attacking you if you violate them.

Sadly, attacking you actually backfires and causes you more suffering.

Nevertheless your Inner Critic is doing what it thinks is best for you, so you don’t have to fight with it or overcome it.

You don’t have to win a battle; you don’t have to get rid of it. You can discover what it thinks it’s doing for you and make a positive connection with it.

You can offer it appreciation for its efforts, and it can begin to trust you.

Knowing that your Critic’s heart is in the right place makes it possible to create a cooperative relationship with it. This makes an enormous difference in your internal landscape and sets the stage for deeper healing using IFS.