Patterns of Power in Relationships Teleseminar

Patterns of Power in Relationships Teleseminar
Tuesday, March 18
4:30-6:30 PM pacific time (7:30-9:30 PM eastern time)

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How do you deal with power in your relationships and interactions with people?

  • Can you assert yourself and exercise your personal power?
  • Can you work with people in a spirit of cooperation?
  • Do you give in too easily to others or try too hard to please them?
  • Do you need to be in control in many situations and get your way?
  • Do you feel as though you must stand up for yourself against people you view as dominating?
  • Do you frustrate others without realizing why?



This free teleseminar deals with the Power Dimension of the Pattern System. Learn about the common problematic patterns and healthy relational capacities that have to do with power. Learn how to work through patterns of yours that get in the way of healthy relating. If you are a therapist or coach, learn how to understand your clients’ power patterns and how to help them. IFS provides powerful tools for transforming problematic patterns of power which integrate beautifully with the Pattern System.

This call will be a webinar so I can show you various graphics about the Power Dimension of the Pattern System on the web, so plan to have access to a computer or tablet, if possible. We will be looking at

The teleseminar will be recorded, so enroll even if you can’t attend, and you will receive the recording.

There are four problematic patterns in the Power Dimension—People-Pleasing, Passive-Aggressive, Controlling, and Rebel. Which ones do you have? Which ones do people you are close to have? Each of them is in Self-Therapy Journey, so you can work on transforming them through that web program.

The People-Pleasing Pattern involves complying with what other people want and trying to make them happy.

The Passive-Aggressive Pattern involves outwardly attempting to please people while rebelling against them in subtle ways that leave them frustrated and confused.

The Controlling Pattern involves being dominant and demanding, and expecting to have things your way.

The Rebel Pattern involves rebelling against other people’s power in an attempt to preserve your autonomy.

There are two complementary healthy capacities in the Power Dimension—Cooperation and Assertiveness.

The Cooperation Capacity involves the ability to be receptive and work well with others.

The Assertiveness Capacity involves the ability to think and act for yourself and to exert power to get what you want, protect yourself, or achieve what you think is right.


Your Interpersonal Patterns: Looking for Reviewers

I have also written a second book on the Pattern System, which covers five of the interpersonal dimensions-

  • Intimacy,
  • Power
  • Conflict
  • Care
  • Strength

This book covers these dimensions, and their patterns and capacities, in enough detail that you can use it to work on any issues you have in these areas.

It covers the following patterns:

  • Intimacy-Avoiding, Dependent
  • Conflict-Avoiding
  • Judgmental, Defensive
  • People-Pleasing
  • Passive-Aggressive
  • Controlling
  • Rebel
  • Self-Absorbed
  • Caretaking
  • Disowned Anger
  • Angry

Right now I have a rough draft of this book, and I am looking for people who would be willing to read it and give me detailed feedback on it in the next month. I don’t need editing per se. What I need is feedback on the content, the organization of the book, and anything else that grabs you.

If you are willing to put in the time to do this, email me at Let me know something about who you are and your background that would make you a good reviewer. Thanks.

Here’s an excerpt from Your Interpersonal Patterns.