New Pattern Guided Meditations

Guided Meditations For the Victim, Taskmaster, and Destroyer Patterns

Our online store has had a number of recorded guided meditations that take you through the first part of an Internal Family systems Therapy (IFS) session, and now we have added quite a few more.

Each guided meditation is designed to work with a certain pattern. You access the part of you that enacts that pattern, get to know it, find out what it is trying to do for you, and develop a trusting relationship with it.

IFS has discovered that every part has a positive intent for you. This makes it much easier to connect with the part and help it to let go. In this meditation, you will discover the part’s intent and connect with it. This is a crucial step in transforming the pattern.

We have now added three new pattern meditations—for

PM22-IFS-Pattern-Meditation-Victim-PatternThe Victim Pattern:  If you have the Victim Pattern, you see yourself as being wronged by someone or in an impossible situation. In other words, you believe that your problems exist because bad things were done to you.



PM21-IFS-Pattern-Meditation-Taskmaster-PatternThe Taskmaster Pattern:   If you have the Taskmaster Pattern, you have an intense focus on hard work or discipline. You may have this because you want to be successful and thereby gain the satisfactions of success—money, praise, power, freedom, or admiration.



PM19-IFS-Pattern-Meditation-Destroyer-PatternThe Destroyer Pattern:  The Destroyer makes pervasive attacks on your fundamental self-worth. It shames you in such a deep way that you feel intrinsically flawed.




Click here to learn more about these and the purchase them.


Testers Needed for Self-Therapy Journey

For the last two and a half years, I have been developing a web application, Self-Therapy Journey, where people can get help in transforming psychological problems. It is like an interactive self-help book, based on the Pattern System and IFS. It should be ready by October.

We would like to try out the application with people who are willing to use it and give us feedback afterward. We want to get feedback on how it works for you and what needs to be fixed or improved.

Soon people will be able to use the application to work on a wide variety of different psychological issues. However, right now we are looking for people who have very specific issues to volunteer in trying it out. We are looking for people who (1) tend to get angry too easily or too intensely, or (2) tend to feel like a victim instead of taking charge of their lives. Read the article about the Victim Pattern for more information. (Later we will be looking for volunteers on other issues.)

You will be able to learn about your Victim Pattern or your Angry Pattern, its underlying motivation, and where it comes from in your past. You will get a customized report about all these things based on what you enter in the application, which means that you can also use this application for guided journaling. You will also be able to set up a life practice to work on being more centered when you are triggered (for the Angry Pattern) or be more powerful and responsible for your life (for the Victim Pattern). The application will provide you with online support in carrying out the practice.

If you are interested in volunteering, email me at Let me know the following information: (1) your phone number and (2) what time zone you are in, and (3) which of the two patterns you are volunteering for. We want to try out the application on a variety of different people, so please also let me know (4) if you are a therapist and (5) whether you are familiar with IFS.

We may have more volunteers than we can use, so you may not hear from us, but we nonetheless appreciate your volunteering.

The Victim Pattern

If you have the Victim Pattern, you tend to see yourself as being wronged by people or in an impossible situation. You may believe that your problems exist because harmful things were done to you. You may feel like the victim of your circumstances, and you may feel that there is nothing you can do about it.

With this Pattern, you may find yourself continually thinking about how others have wronged or hurt you. You may make excuses to yourself about why you cannot get your life together, feeling cheated and helpless to do anything about it. You may feel angry or depressed about your circumstances and helpless to change your life for the better. In the back of your mind, you may even feel entitled to special time and attention from others, especially those who have wronged you.

You may indeed have been victimized in your childhood and perhaps even as an adult. The Victim Pattern doesn’t refer to these situations where you were truly a victim and had no option. It refers to the situation where a part of you is attached to feeling like a victim even when you are in a situation where you could now take steps to improve your situation.

You may now have the power to stand up for yourself or to get away from someone who is harming you. However, if you have a Victim Pattern, you tend to focus on feeling sorry for yourself rather than looking for ways to get what you want in life.

This Pattern can keep you from moving toward goals for personal development or professional success. The Victim Pattern may interfere with your ability to take charge of your life. You may focus on how other people are to blame for what has happened to you rather than focusing on what you can do to change your difficult circumstances.

This is not to say that a Pollyanna attitude is helpful or that you should completely ignoring past hurts. But it is important to focus on moving forward and on what you can do, rather than perpetuating your sense of yourself as a victim of circumstances.

On a deeper level, you may unconsciously hope to get some benefit out of playing the victim, wanting someone to realize how they have wronged you and rescue you.

On the other hand, it isn’t realistic to believe that you can control every single thing that happens in your life. As with all patterns in The Pattern System, the healthy position is one of balance. It is good to recognize when things harmed you that were out of your control. However, it is important to realize when you can take charge of your life and try to make it work.

There are three variations on the Victim Pattern:

  1. If you have the Angry Victim Pattern, you feel resentment toward people you believe have wronged you.
  2. If you have the Helpless Victim Pattern, you just feel powerless over your life and attribute your problems it to external circumstances or other people.
  3. If you have the Martyr Pattern, you believe that you have helped someone who not only didn’t appreciate what you did for them but wronged you instead.

Please visit for more information.